Friday, July 7, 2017

What to do when it's time to PCS and you don't want to even talk about it

No, seriously.  What do you do?

It's not technically time to PCS, but it is time to give our list to the detailer; the list of our top 4 places we'd like to move to.  Ben has been talking about where we are going next since the day he came home from deployment and although he is enjoying his job here, I think he's really excited to have 3 years of shore duty.

For some reason, I have had a heard time even talking about this subject.  I cannot figure out why. A year and a half ago, I was excited to move to Arizona and I was excited about a life of adventure and exploring new places. 

Now I just feel burnt out.  In our short military career, we've done two deployments and a cross-country move.  I know many out there have done much more than this, but right now the idea of moving again is just overwhelming.

I'm supposed to mulling over my theory of education right now and all I can think about is what state...or country!...we'll be schooling in next.  AND I'm the chaplain's wife.  I'm *supposed* to be the one who is saying, "The Lord is faithful and He knows where we are moving next.  I'll trust Him in all things and not worry one bit." (Insert big toothy smile).  I want to be saying those things, but more importantly, I want to believe those things.  Instead, I'm humbling saying that I'm scared.  I'm not sure of what, though.  Being uncomfortable maybe?  Going through another huge life event or not liking our next house that I have to spend all day, everyday in for the next three years?  I do know that I'm scared of letting Ben down or holding him back.  To the reader, please know that this is something I've put on myself and he has done nothing to make me feel this way....I guess it's just a girl thing...or a love thing...I want the best for him and I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of that.

I wish I could put my big girl panties on and make a pretty post about 5 steps to being at peace with your PCS list.  Maybe this post is what I need to lead to that.  Right now, I only have one step.

Step 1: PRAY

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

1 comment:

  1. I think it's a love thing.

    And this probably won't help at all, but I also think it's completely appropriate that you are not all whoo hoo about considering another move. I guess it's like running up a long hill. I can't look at the top or I might give up, I have to look a couple of steps ahead.