Monday, September 7, 2015

Where I've been...again.

Last summer I took a long break from blogging and social media to refocus and spend an abundant amount of quality time with my family.  A break came again this summer, but this time out of necessity.  Maybe necessity isn't the right word.  It came because I just plain didn't have time to do anything but survive.  Hubs deployed at the beginning of June and I wished I had blogged through it.  I know there are so many other wives out there who have gone through the crazy stages of deployment and would have had great advice, but finding the time to sit down and type just wasn't an option.  And if I did have a few moments to write, it was to Hubs.  3 months and 1 week into deployment and I just now feel like my brain is back.  Life is still crazy, but I've finally learned to let some things go and carve out a few more moments for myself.

So what would I have blogged about before if I could have?

Maybe about the "Freak out" phase of deployment.  Where your brain is consumed with "How am I going to do this? Who's stupid idea was this whole thing? Did Hubs call/text/email? Why hasn't he emailed?  Dinner...we should eat dinner...what to cook for dinner?"

Maybe about how many cool ways God has provided help and encouragement in the most surprising ways.  From neighbors coming over late at night to cross country friends calling to random boxes of snacks being delivered; God's unexpected hand has been in it all.

Maybe about how I've changed over the last few months.  How I've been stretched and challenged and big lessons learned.  The biggest one that comes to mind, is accepting my weaknesses and my strengths and being okay with not being okay.  My best friend, my partner and the sole person who knows and loves our kids as much as I do, is gone and that, in itself, is hard.  Babysitters and house cleaners do not alleviate the emotional weight of being a single parent.  But in that, also letting myself relearn who I am and not defining myself by anyone's opinion.

Road trip to Michigan

Lord willing, Hubs will be home in 20 days.  We've hit the last phase of deployment and I'm calling it the "I'll deal with it later" phase.  I've hit my max, yet life keeps piling stuff on.  There's only so much room on one plate, so some things have to be moved to the "deal with later" plate.  For example, I came home from our trip to a giant hole in my ceiling.  Eh, I'll deal with it later.  Who needs pretty ceilings anyway? 


I ordered new DS chargers thinking I had left them in Michigan, only to discover them in the shoe suitcase (because that's where normal people pack chargers) 10 minutes after ordering them and Amazon won't let me return them.  Eh, I'll deal with it later.  Who needs money?  Hubs emailed me dates he's taking off work when he returns and I didn't even email him back.  Why?  Because I put it on the "deal with it later" plate and forgot.  Days off work next month means nothing to me in the midst of school starting and soccer practice and dentist appointments and birthday parties.

So here's what's coming in my crazy life: homeschool starts tomorrow, Hubs comes home, we go camping, we run a 5K and a half marathon, the holidays, a cross country move, Hubs joins the marines and somewhere in all there we're supposed to find a new normal and raise kids.  If there's any time I want to blog through, it's this year.  I'm excited to look back and see what we've been through and maybe even gain some insight from those who've gone before me.

Hope you'll join me, it's going to be a fun ride.


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