|Nana taught us how to sew|
|Daddy coached Bubby's soccer team|
|Grandpa taught Princess P how to ride her bike|
I'm embarrassed to admit how much I was addicted and even more embarrassed to share how much my kids were ignored. I spent a lot of time praying over sharing this. It's easier to hide it, but the truth is, many mom's can relate. There are so many things I wish other women would have shared with me, like how to take care of yourself after having a baby or how acne is worse in your 30's than in your teens or how the week before your husband leaves for a trip is far worse than the actual trip. There are many hidden things that mom's don't talk about and I'm ready to break that barrier.
|We took a trip to the beach with my parents|
At first, I tried to set limits on my social media use. I would tell myself that I would only get on when the kids were sleeping, but the thoughts of "just check it really quick" always popped in my head. It was so easy and convenient to jump on and I would inevitably get sucked in for at least 20 minutes. I heard myself constantly saying to my kids, "just a minute" and was more distracted than present.
|Princess P started 2nd grade|
|Bubby started preschool|
|Princess P started Girl Scouts|
|Soccer ended and Bubby made great progress over the season|
|Finish half marathon in 1:54|
I cut it cold turkey and the first few days opened my eyes to how much I really was addicted...they were so hard! Social media had consumed my thoughts for so long. "What should I post?" "Did someone look at my picture?" "Did anyone send me a message?" "I can't believe so and so said that!" "Hmm, maybe I should make that for dinner too." Breaking habits is hard and even harder when you have 3 reality checks starring you in the face. My escape was gone and I had to face life.
|First field trip|
As much as this may seem like a social media bash or "poor lonely girl party", quitting was a last straw for me. The months leading up to this, I felt like God was "clearing my plate" and I didn't understand why. In the midst of a potential military move, I quit all ministry involvement. I also stopped teaching at the Y and the pursuit of personal training lead to a big fat closed door. Several relationships dissolved over that time. Social media was the last distraction in my life and now that was cleared too.
|trip to the pumpkin patch|
So what was left on my empty plate? Something very beautiful. In honesty, it took me awhile to see the beauty. There were tears and there was anguish to get there. Everything that I thought defined me was gone. But the months of "emptiness" gave me a clarity like I've never experienced. What was left was my family and that is beautiful, crazy beautiful.
|Daddy and Princess P ran the local 5k|
|pumpkin design by the kids|
I redefined my down time. I found a love for piano music and baking during nap time. If I needed to relax, I would turn on a funny show on Netflix. One particular week, the kids were extra crazy and I hid a chocolate bar Hubs had brought home from Germany in my bathroom. I would lock myself in there for just a few minutes and savor the sweet treat. A little quiet and German chocolate is way better than any social media high. And I actually read a book! Several actually. More than I've read since college. I reread books that I only half read and learned so much more. It's amazing the things you can do when your time is not filled with idleness.
|Potty trained Charlie|
I'm so excited to be here now. It's awesome to see God reveal things in your life and have clarity. I'm thankful to be back to blogging; it's an outlet that is often refreshing for my soul. Coming soon: specific plans for our life that God has revealed to me.