Monday, March 20, 2017

Phase 7

Just kidding, phase 7 is not called waiting. It's called, "Hold on for dear life".

Colin on this ride is the perfect example. He jumped in, thinking it was like a little car ride and didn't strap in. When he put his tokens in, the space ship started to slowly tilt to the side and his little tushy started to slide out of the ride.  He quickly strapped in and I was trying to tell him to move the gears to make the ride tilt back up.  So, he moved the gears and slowly started tilting to the other side.  Again, his tushy slides all the way over and he's about to fall out.  His eyes are big and with a worried look, but he's trying to smile because it's *supposed to be fun*.

That's how this phase feels.  Like a ride that's *supposed to be fun*, but you are slowly falling out.  You're trying to keep a smile on your phase but you are holding on for dear life, thinking all the while, "Don't fall out!!!".  Everyone around you is shouting, "Isn't this exciting?!" and you paste that smile on and fake a "Yea", but you are really thinking, "NO!  Isn't this ride over?!"

It's hard to put into words.  I was ready for Ben to be home 5 months ago...6+ months is just too long for a family to be apart. And as we can see the finish line, we still have to keep running; the race isn't over until you get across that line and those last few miles are when your body hurts the most.  I would love to say that we've thrived during this race, but we are all starting to unravel as the race finishes.

It's hard to know how to get through the last few hard miles.  I read a great article over the topic and the writer encouraged readers to take this time to rest up and really take care of yourself so you're not burned out when your service member comes home.  I needed the reminder to erase some things off my to-do list and now is not the time to get major projects done.  On the flip side of that, it's sometimes better to stay busy; the days go by quicker and my mind is more occupied.  I guess we'll just take it a day at a time.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

What got me through

"Wow.  It seems like you're actually doing pretty good."
Words from our pastor, while eating dinner together.

There have been moments where I've wanted to meltdown, but for the most part, I have felt pretty good over this deployment.  What made this one different?

1.  Being able to talk to Ben.  It wasn't a lot, but just having some sort of contact with him every day made a HUGE difference in my world.

2.  Ben continued to handle our finances and bills.  It was just one small thing that was off my plate.  Thank you technology!  He even did our taxes!  Both deployments, our internet bill has suddenly stopped coming out automatically.  Last time it was a huge headache for me to try and fix it (since he was first on the account, they wouldn't talk to me), but this time he fixed in 2 seconds and all was fine.

3.  I continued to get up early in the morning before the kids.  This is tried and true in my life; my days go much better when I get up before the kids and have coffee and have some quiet time.  It was still true even when I was tired from flying solo...I just drank a little more coffee :)

4.  I took a little more time for myself.  I would literally run circles around our block, which I'm sure made the neighbors wonder about me, but it gave me a few quiet moments to myself.  I also signed up the kids for "parent's night out" at the Y and it gave me an evening to myself at least once a month.  I made an effort to get haircuts and a few pedicures and bought some new clothes; just little things to keep taking care of myself.

5.  The kids are older.  They are able to help with dishes and cleaning up the house (not always willingly, but they are able).  They can all shower and dress themselves.  Most of all, Alison is now able to help watch the boys while I'm working on something.

6.  I planned events throughout.  We had a "Falloween" and Valentine's Day party.  We went on day trips to San Diego twice and Phoenix once.  These little things gave us a project to work on and something we could anticipate and plan for that was closer than daddy coming home.

7. Maya.  Yes, having a dog helped me this time.  I have slept better and felt safer and enjoyed taking her for walks.  Moral of the story; get a dog.

8. Preparing meals ahead of time.  Weeks went much smoother when I would plan meals and prep as much as I could for the week on Saturdays.  Especially during our school weeks, it made our evening so much more enjoyable with most of dinner was already ready, I just needed to add sides.

9. Family coming to help. The timing of family visiting worked out perfectly.  Every time something broke, someone was here to help me fix it.  When I was just about to burn out on running things, they were here to swoop in.

10.  Friends.  Laurel would often invite us over for dinner or take the kids for an afternoon.  I think what made it awesome is, it was a blessing to her too because all our kids play so well together.  I didn't feel guilty or like I was a burden or she was just doing it to be nice.  She was also willing to take several crazy trips with me.

Meredith would often text me and tell me to bring the kids over and insisted on me taking each kid individually on dates, when they were really struggling with daddy being gone.  She brought Alison a calming CD of scripture music when she knew she was struggling to fall asleep (our kids handle stress by not sleeping).  She also came over for coffee every Thursday morning.  It was one hour a week I knew I could have an adult to talk to and it made a big difference in my world.

Julie and Andrea called every week and then flew all the way across the country at the point of the deployment when they knew there would be lull.

Jamie held my hand through lice.  I'm not sure I would have survived without her guidance and encouragement.

I think keeping busy and blogging will get me through the next month...we'll see if it works :)

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Phases of Deployment

When I look for articles about deployment, all of them are written for the service member.  Most talk about the different phases and emotions they may feel before, during and after a deployment.  I have yet to find something from the wife's perspective.  So here's mine.

I mostly felt a lot of doubt.  "How in the world am I going to do this?" ran through my head a lot.  I tried really hard to put zero expectations on myself and tried to communicate that to everyone around me.  For example, we let the pastor of our church know that I may not be there every Sunday and that was okay.  They didn't need to check up on me or worry that we're sick; just know that it's difficult to get 3 kids to church every Sunday and for this season, I'm not going to expect myself to be super mom.  I also committed to just doing reading, writing and math for school until I felt able to tackle more subjects and assured myself that the kids would be fine for a few months if we just read everyday...a sane momma is a better gift than struggling through a million subjects.

Phase1: "Gather all the things"
I went into overdrive gathering anything and everything that I might need to make this easier.  I stocked up on snacks and easy food; our pantry was the fullest it's ever been, so much so that the kids were convinced our entire extended family was coming to visit.  I can't even remember all the things I bought, but if I thought it might help life, I bought it.  This phase backfired on me because really, it made life harder.  My energy was drained by making many large shopping trips and in reality, life wasn't any easier.  The kids had snacks, but I would still be short on ingredients for dinner.  This phase also included using all paper products, which also sounds easier, but really means an overflowing trash bin...and if you miss trash day, it's one stinky mess.

Phase 2: "A love/hate relationship with Facetime"
 I am beyond thankful for the ability to talk with Ben every day.  It really helped me mentally, just knowing that I could contact him if I needed anything.  On the flip side of it, every time his face pops up on my phone, the kids go into crazy mode.  They want to show him every creation they've built and have a million random things to pop in and say and heaven forbid they're hungry while you're talking.  Sigh.  AND our morning is his evening.  Our morning of getting started in school or cooking breakfast or trying to get a workout in (I swear he hasn't seen me in not pj's or workout clothes in 6 months) and his evening after a long day of counseling lots of marines with real problems and he's falling asleep.  All that to say, this phase was me struggling with our communication.  I would get so frustrated and say, "Just don't call.  This is too frustrating!"  But then he would sweetly say that he just needed to see our faces and loved seeing the craziness of our little family and we would pick right back up with the communicating but not really communicating life. 

Phase 3: "Holidays and Lice"
 Our house was full of family for the holidays and it helped tremendously.  My in-laws and parents were wonderful at cooking and playing with the kids and helping me with things around the house.  Things felt different enough that it took my mind off of Ben not being here and I also felt very supported.  Then lice hit our house and my mind was definitely distracted.  I didn't have time to think about deployment!  All my thoughts were consumed with little bugs crawling everywhere and now that you're reading this, I bet your head is starting to itch :) 

Phase 4: "This sucks"
Halfway through.  It sucks.  Most people will say that halfway through was exciting for them and  a relief.  Not for me.  All I could think was "WE STILL HAVE 3+ MORE MONTHS!!!"  January was the longest, hardest month for me.  I seriously did not think it was ever going to end.  Lice must have boosted my confidence to conquer all things and I doubled our school work.  I'm glad that I did educationally and it did keep me busy, but I was burnt out.

Phase 5: "Scared to look up"
 I realized about this time that I had been living with my eyes focused solely on the next task before me.  In a running analogy, I had my head pointed down, looking at the sidewalk, counting the lines as I passed them.  Trying to squint ahead to see the finish line was too overwhelming and just made me want to take a seat on the curb.  I was functioning pretty good running like this, but then others around me started to talk about the finish line and I realized it was almost time to look up.  Truthfully, that scared me.  In fact, typing it makes me tear up.  Sounds so weird, right?  Seeing the finish line should be so exciting.  And it is.  But it also means that I'll have to look up, turn around and acknowledge all those miles I've run by myself.  There's no more powering through and I'll have to stop and mourn all those hard things I endured.  It's natural and healthy and it will be okay...I just don't want to do it.

Phase 6: "It's like your wedding, a holiday and coming home from summer camp all in one."
 True statement from the "reintegration" meeting I went to.  Planning to be reunited with your spouse who will be stinky and has lived alone for 6 months in a combat's definitely a unique situation. The funniest part of this meeting was the very first thing they said was, "Chaplain Shear will be here to help you with any thing you may need."  Clearly they had no idea that Mrs. Chaplain Shear was sitting right in front of them.  They spoke a lot of "problems" that could arise after a deployment and said over and over how the chaplain was there to help.  It took a lot of self control not to raise my hand and ask, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHAPLAIN?!  Who's helping him?  Who does his family call if there's a problem?"  Anyway, this phase is trying to plan.  We're planning some meals and what to do if he comes home in the middle of the night and what that first week back looks like and even a little party with our church family.  I'm working on homecoming outfits and trying to slowly restock on Ben's favorite foods.  Of course being a girl, I'm also planning haircuts and a nail appointment and better get out in that sun a little (don't want to be too pasty in that dress).  This phase also includes "hurry up and get it done!".  I want to get a ton of school done before we go back into light mode when Ben gets home and I need to finish that book I said I would read during deployment.

Phase 7: "Waiting and waiting and waiting"
This is yet to come.  I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017


"My poor third child."
This has come up in several of my conversations lately.  Other moms have shared with me that they also feel that those last children often get the short end of the stick.  I confess that in our school time, my attention is wrapped up in juggling Alison and Eli's work and then I end the day thinking, "Oh, yea. Colin."  Granted, he's just in preschool, so it's not a huge deal. BUT, then a day came when I got so mad at Alison for missing several capitalizations in her writing, that I knew things had to change.  Should she know how to properly capitalize?  Yes.
Should I have wasted time yelling at her about missing them?  No.
Seriously, y'all.  I made a rule that she would have to do 10 jumping jacks for every missed capitalization!  
I realized then that perhaps I put too much expectations on my first child and not enough on my third.

Colin, however, is a puzzle piece I have not figured out how to teach.  Alison was reading at his age and I'm not sure he even knows all of his letters.  Most of the time if you ask him what a letter is, he responds with "poop".  Not joking.  We're on lesson 10 of "Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons" and it's like wrangling monkeys to get through a lesson.

I do remember with Eli that he struggled with paying attention and I would have to remind him repeatedly that the words were on the page and not on the wall.  He just wasn't as bouncy as Colin.  Also, both of my boys cannot rhyme.  Like not in the slightest bit.

For how never-stop-moving Colin is, he chooses to be in the school room with us the entire time the other two are working.  He works on puzzles or colors or plays with the dog.  Thankfully, he really is not disruptive or distracting, unless he starts giggling really loudly from Maya licking him.  What we did without a dog, I will never know.

Real life school=Colin climbing in the closet to get a puzzle and tweenage drama going on over...shoot, I don't even remember what she was moping about.

I really am interested to research this topic more though; third (or subsequent) kids in homeschool families.  They are hearing more advance things that the first two heard during those early years.  For example, Colin is hearing 1st and 4th grade math facts, grammar, spelling, history, science and Latin in preschool.  I believe that in some way, this is uniquely equipping him in a way I couldn't teach.  I just wish I had concrete evidence...if you find any, pass it my way!

I want to be more purposeful in doing preschool things with Colin.  I actually think relieving expectations off the first two could benefit them as well.  In order to do this, I need accountability.  #thirdkidthursdays
Thursday is the day that I am committed to doing one preschool thing with Colin and maybe someday I'll crack the code to this little whipper snapper!

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Every day life

I definitely thought I would blog more during deployment.  I thought I would take tons of pictures and really write through what life is like.  However, one thing in my life I've learned is: if I plan it, it will NOT happen.

Point in case: tonight.  Before Ben left, I told the kids we would try a new restaurant once a week.  We talked about making a fun project of it and would keep track of places we went and rate them.  Well, my friends, tonight was our first dinner out at a new place...4+months into deployment.

We went to Peter Piper Pizza, which we've heard has great pizza.  I was not informed about the mega arcade that is also in it.  The kids want to go back every day now.

Our every day life is busy.  Just basic chores, a workout, taking the dog for a walk, school, meals and talking with Ben, take up a day.  Adding in errands or a play date or extra house projects make the days very full...thus my lack of time to write.

Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed at all the odd things that need to get done, so I make a list.  Then, Alison follows suit and makes a list too.  Sometimes I wish we could switch lists...

While the days are full, I am so thankful they are.  The days fly by and I even oddly find comfort in our school routine.  I think we all do.

So here are some thoughts about deployment that I've wanted to blog about.

* I am so thankful that we are homeschooling.  It's tough, yes, BUT there have been days that Alison has struggled and needed some time to just talk or some extra snuggles and I am so glad we can put our pencils down for a few minutes and talk about missing daddy.  Also, if the kids were in public school, they would rarely be able to talk to daddy, as he calls when school would just be starting for them.  I can adjust our time to accommodate when we are able to talk to Ben.

*To go with that, deployment with a 9 year old is a whole new ball game.  Younger kids are more physically exhausting as you have to take care of every basic need for them.  9 year old's can do a lot of things themselves, but now have lots of emotions they don't know how to sort through.  Alison is the toughest little girl I know and doesn't want me to know if she's not feeling 100%, but will show she's missing daddy in subtle ways; attitude, unable to fall asleep or frustration with school.

*I read a research article during the last deployment that said military kids with a pet dog fared better during deployment than those who didn't.  The pet gives them a constant (same is true for moving) in their every changing life.  I remember emailing the article to Ben on the ship and telling him that if he was to deploy again, we needed a dog.  He listened and found Maya right after our move across the country and it was the best, crazy, decision we ever made.  Now he teases me that she is my therapy dog.  She is an amazing blessing for our kids, but it's true...I'm pretty sure I've sent him more pictures of the dog than the kids!  She makes me laugh when I feel overwhelmed, taking her for walks relaxes me, I sleep better with her in my room and there's nothing better than hearing the kids giggle when she covers them in kisses.  We are proof that the research is true.  Dogs and military kids is a very good idea.

~Maya is fiercely protective of her pack.  If the kids are in the front yard playing, she will sit on the couch watching them from the window, like a hawk.  She acts like a nervous mom and whines if they ride their bike a little too far down the street and barks if anything even thinks about coming close to our house.  She will not leave that spot as long as they are out there.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Found my gu

Refreshment can come in unexpected ways.

This friend has been my gu.

Unintentionally, we've had weekly field trips that have brought more refreshment than I could imagine.  She invited us to join them at the Phoenix Children's Museum and it was so nice to have a change of pace and a whole day with friends.

This week, her husband gave us a special tour of the border patrol station.  The kids were on cloud nine!  I was a little intimidated by what goes on just miles from our home...

I'm so thankful for this sweet friend to get me through the last few weeks.  Family comes in just a few first "water station"!

Saturday, November 5, 2016

It's like running a marathon

I like the metaphor that deployment is like running a marathon.  There are so many similarities and in a way, it helps me normalize the emotions that are running through our family.  Ironically, we have about 26 weeks of deployment, probably a little more, but it works for the analogy.

There are nerves before a big race and doubts if you can actually complete it.  Just like before a deployment.

The race begins and you take off.  You think,  "I've got this!".  Sure, you glance down a few times at your watch to check your speed, but your enjoying the feeling of all the nerves finally settling down.  The race you've been training for is finally here and now you can just enjoy each mile.
Just like the first few weeks of deployment.  You take over the bed and watch a few movies you've been dying to see and enjoy a few simple meals.

But then mile 6 hits.  Your legs are starting to feel the run.  You're starting to get thirsty but have another few miles until a water station.  You start to panic that you still have 20 more miles to go and wonder how you will endure the rest of the race.

This is where we are in deployment.  Mile 6.  We are starting to feel the burn.  We miss Ben, Ben misses us and we're all a little down.  And we have 20 more to go. 

In a race, you have to settle into that discomfort.  You have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.  You take a gu and let your mind go somewhere else.

I told the kids this analogy today and told them that we just need to find our gu and our distraction.

Be warned if you think this is a great idea.  A 9, 6 and 4 year old do not get analogies and real life metaphors.  They were like,  "Okay, let's go get some gu!"  We walked to the park and Eli asked if he could run ahead and asked for his gu.  He literally took me literally.  Face palm.

Seriously though, I've been thinking today about what our gu and mental distraction can be.  How can we become comfortable with the uncomfortable?

Saturday, October 29, 2016

San Diego Zoo

In the midst of my calamity week, I was reminded about the San Diego Zoo special for October.  Kids get in free!  I was under the impression that active duty military also get in free, but they are a little misleading on that advertisement.  The service member gets in free and dependents get a whoppin' 10% discount.  Military friends beware, each park has their own set of rules when it comes to discounts (Sea World was the whole family got in free and you needed a print off+ID to get in).  

The deal was just too good to pass up.  Without this special, it would have cost me $200 just to get into the zoo!  Plus, Eli is learning plant and animal life for science, so with a garden and a zoo visit, we're good...right?  I asked a friend if she wanted to join us (promising her that I am not crazy) and she was sold on the deal as well.  I am so thankful she came because it made the trip so much more fun.

Also worth noting for people interested in going to the zoo, there is also a San Diego Zoo Safari Park that is in Escondido and is not the same as the downtown zoo.  Both of our GPS's took us to the Safari park that was 40 minutes past where we wanted to be careful.  However, we did note the winery and nice shopping center right by the Safari park and put it on our "future trip" list.

I thought it was the best zoo I've ever been to.  I loved the paths that lead you through the animal exhibits.  I felt like I was really in their habitat and the animals were much closer than I've ever experienced.

Coolest animal we saw...not cool that I can't remember the name
 We went on a Friday and were prepared for crazy crowds, especially around the panda's (notorious for a LONG line), but we were surprised to find it not that packed.  We walked right up to the panda's and were able to look at them for as long as we wanted.

Watching the pandas.
 The kids loved the petting zoo part and play ground near the entrance.  The mom's loved a chance to sit and drink a coffee.

My only complaint would be that the bathrooms were really hard to find.  7 Arizona kids who are used to drinking a lot of water=a lot of bathroom breaks which= 2 moms doing a lot of walking to find hidden bathrooms.

I can see how you can spend a couple of days at the zoo.  We didn't see everything, but I was satisfied with what we did.  They have a lot of great animals and fun exhibits.  We will definitely be going back next October. 

By the time we were done at the zoo, we figured we either needed to hit the road ASAP to avoid traffic and get home for dinner (there's no place to stop along the drive home) or we needed to stay until rush hour was over.  We chose the beach!  When in doubt, choose the beach!

We did not plan on going to the beach, but it was perfect.  The kids played in the sand and climbed the rocks and had a blast getting their clothes soaking wet. 

Laural and I sat on the beach and laughed about all of our calamities of the week and just let the sound of the ocean wash away all the stress of the week.  It was just the refreshment I needed.  It was music to my ears when she said, "I really needed this" and I was so thankful that the trip was not a burden to her, but a blessing. 

I've only been to San Diego 3 times and I don't really know my way around, but I do know my way to Smash Burger.  Go there.  By far my favorite burger place and make sure you get the smash fries!

We drove home that night and didn't hit an ounce of traffic.  As I drove, I realized how I felt so much better.  Isn't that strange?  It should have been a stressful day.  I should have come home feeling more burnt out, but instead I came home with a big smile on my face and refreshment in my heart.  It was so good for both Laurel and I, that we have already begun plans for another (but longer) trip.  I half jokingly said, "Field trip Friday's at the beach!" Oh, I love that about homeschooling. 

Thursday, October 27, 2016

A calamity of a week

And the week isn't even close to being over.

 Image result for deployment memes

There must be something about hitting the 1 month mark.  Everything fell apart this week.

Let's see...what's all happened in the last 4 days...

*I realized that I was drinking expired coffee.  I thought I was just being a coffee snob and the kcups were not up to my standard.  Nope.  I stopped drinking it immediately but it left me very grumpy for school.  Lot's of coffee is essential to life right now.

Thank you Target for sending me a free Starbuck's coffee coupon (you know you spend too much money there if they send you this).  The second school was over, we made our way to pick up a giant coffee and I pretended I didn't know how many calories were in the drink.

*Made the fatal mistake of going in Old Navy with 3 kids...and that giant coffee.  Alison has zero pants and is in between sizes, which equals very stressful shopping.

*Colin has bitten Alison twice.  This has never happened in my mothering life.  He's 4! 

*Reading, writing, math and history is the only school we're doing right now.  Alison is struggling to get a single thing done and has cried every day.  I couldn't even tell you why she was crying.  And if she wasn't crying, she was arguing.  Eli, on the other hand, got mad that math was too easy today and stopped talking to me.  Then I was super mature and said, "Fine.  I'm not talking to you either!"

*Colin stepped on a nail and it was stuck in his foot.  Why was there a nail in on our schoolroom floor?  That story involves a naughty puppy...

*We got in the van to go to the library and it started shaking.  I immediately had visions of having to buy a car by myself and said, "Ok, everybody out!".  We've been driving Ben's car since because I refuse to deal with car problems.

*Eli has broken two glasses.  He also concocted "soup" in the yard with dirt, rocks, flowers and hose water and tried to serve it to me in bed.

*Colin got a running nose and shortly after I set up the humidifier for him, the dog tripped over the cord and broke the thing to pieces.

*Snow birds are back and they take grocery shopping stress to a whole new level.

*Bought bad chicken.  The date said it should be fine, but when I put in the pot, it smelled horrible.  I thought I was just being crazy and it was for Maya (yes, I'm crazy and make our dog food), so I started to cook it and quickly the kids were saying, "It smells like fish!" and running out of the house.  It was awful.  Then, I was super smart and left the whole pot sitting on our driveway for 2 days.
*The worst=I tried to give myself a day off and purposely stayed in my pajamas and let the kids watch way too much Justin Time and ignored the chores.  FATAL MISTAKE.  The doorbell rang.  I forgot the exterminator appointment.  Y'all, I answered the door in my pajamas!  He comes in the house and is trying to spray around the 4 mounds of laundry, 2 giant piles of toys to be put away and open dishwasher drawer.  The boys are naked on the couch and it's painfully awkward at the state of our house. 

 *Again, trying to make things a little better, I told the kids to put pj's on and turn on a movie and I'd make popcorn and hot cocoa (ignoring the fact that it was 93 outside).  Of course, the popcorn popper decided to spontaneously combust.   Popcorn was flying everywhere!

 *Dinner has been a disaster.  Apparently I can't cook while Ben is gone and he keeps telling me to just keep things really simple.  I made bean and cheese burritos with guacamole one night.  It's safe and they love it and then Alison said, "So, we're just having an easy dinner tonight?".  Face palm.  She also almost cried when I bought bread at the store.  Food snob problems.

*The kids have been bugging and bugging and bugging me about getting Maya a bed.  Like talk about every single time we are in the store (and that's a lot) bugging me.  I finally agreed today when we found the cheapest option.  $27 and an hour later and Maya completely destroyed it.

She also dug a new whole in the yard this week.

There's a mental drain of 3 kids constantly talking and asking questions.  Last deployment, I didn't drink once.  4.5 weeks into this one, I picked up a bottle of wine and some oatmeal cream pies in honor of Ben. 

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Deployment and homeschooling

So, let's be honest.  Homeschooling and deployment are no joke. 

This week, we took some time to get some projects done.

Eli, checked out a cookbook from the library and has asked for weeks to make cupcakes out of it.  As luck would have it, Colin was learning about the letter C, so it worked out perfectly to finally make them.  I'm pretty sure he's getting too old to sit on the counter...

We also worked on planting a garden.  Eli is supposed to learn about plant life this year and deployment brain made me think we could grow a giant garden.  Why?  Why do I always bite off more than I can chew?  Hello.  Just mowing the lawn is a chore.

The kids were really excited to have their own spot and picked what they wanted to grow.  Eli is growing basil and carrots.

Alison is growing cotton (she got seeds from a cotton gin field trip), tomatoes and peppermint.

This project definitely took much longer than I anticipated, but I have learned a lot and the kids are really enjoying the work and I'm praying that something grows!

Can you see Alison in the tree in this picture?

I had to sneak a picture through my kitchen window.  A lot of learning happened in this tree this week.  She started writing a book about Maya up there and she memorized countless math facts.  That was our school focus this week.  It's been a long road of rebuilding her math foundation, but this week was a turning point.  Y'all, I bribed her.  And it worked.  Maybe bribed is a bad word...gave her incentive.  I told her for every stack of math facts and set of skip counting she memorizes, I'll pay her $1.  She spent hours working hard on memorizing and was SO excited to be working on it.  It gave her a boost of confidence and she said, "Thank you for making math fun!".  Best money I ever spent.

Eli wanted to earn money just like Alison and has also worked hard on memorizing.  Why is he jumping?  Alison had to try different ways to memorize to figure out what worked best for her.  I would have her write the facts she struggled with and say it 3 times, but it wasn't clicking.  In college, I learned the best reading while walking to class, so we tried moving and learning.  I found Eli practicing skip counting on the trampoline one evening, way after school was over.